Love, Serve, Smile

Today marks the three year anniversary of my Aunt Michelle's death, and although it's only been three years it seems so much longer than that. No doubt; I miss her influence. I miss her advice. I miss her creativity. I miss seeing her at church or just dropping by while I've been visiting at my parent's house.

And sometimes its hard to think about how long I'll have to wait to see her again; most days it seems like a really long time.

But on days like today I try to think of her and the things I loved so much about her. All of the reasons why I admired her so much. The gratitude I felt for her example and for being so involved in the things that were important to me.

One of Michelle's most enduring qualities was that she was genuinely interested in the happiness and success of everyone she knew. Lately I have been thinking about the first time I saw her after we found out the cancer had come back. I stopped in at the Quilt Shop she was about to open. I walked in the door and she was standing at the counter trying to figure out how to use the cash register. It was a bitter-sweet moment. So exciting that the shop was about ready for business; something she had dreamed about and of course made a reality. Decorated so cute and so "Michelle." At the same time, my heart was so heavy, and not really wanting to face the reality of what was to come.

That afternoon, I drove her home from the Quilt Shop. We were talking about plans for the shop and some of the things she wanted to be able to do. One of her ideas was that she wanted the shop to be a place for talented quilters to display and sell their quilts. Her philosophy was that there were so many talented ladies who created beautiful quilts, and needed a way to share them with others. We talked about experimenting with selling quilts online and a few other ideas.

After our visit she got out of the car and walked back through her arbor and into the garden. The memory is still so clear in my mind. And all I could do was fight back the tears as I watched her walk back through her beautiful flower beds, picking a few flowers as she went along. It was the last time I saw her able to walk on her own.

Here was a woman who had developed a business plan and created a dream about having a quilt shop, and one of her main focuses for the store was to allow other women to share their skills and talents and to create an environment where their quilts could be enjoyed by others.

She was selfless. She was always so positive. She had a gift for making everyone feel special and appreciated.

And the best way that I can remember her is to try to be more like her.

So, I'm going to wipe my teary eyes one last time, throw away this pile of used tissues and put some new mascara on. And then I'll try to do what she always did best....love, serve and smile.