Follow Through Pays Off

Around the first of May I was wondering where April went. Now, it's already the middle of June and I'm wondering where May and June went. Time flies fast when you don't want it too.

A few months ago Dr. Tom attended the Western Psychological Association conference in Portland, where he did a big presentation. (You may remember an earlier story about me accidentally shaving all of his hair off the night before he left.)

Aiden and I were lucky to tag along and our family enjoyed a few days away from the chaos that has encircled our house lately.

One afternoon Aiden and I went to the conference area to hook up with Dr. T. While waiting around A spotted a little table in the hallway with a dish of mints. He walked over and plucked one out of the dish. Then, quickly grabbed two more and started to walk across the hall and back to where I was standing.

I asked him to put a few back, as it was polite to just take one. Being the cute four year old that he is, he didn't listen and kept in walking. So I asked him again, to please put a few of them back. And then I told him that we wouldn't leave the hall and go find Daddy until he put them back.

I stood there and waited.

He finally paused for a second and then turn around and put the extra mints back.

I didn't think much of it, and we started to walk down the hall when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I spun around and this woman said to me,

"You are the most awesome mom."

Shocked, and wondering if she was actually talking to ME....I'm far from perfect when it comes to being a Mom. I'd say I'm a 6.2 on the Mom Awesome Scale...Surprised by her comment I asked her why she would say that.

She then explained that as a psychologist she meets with families and troubled teens daily, and that so many parent/teen problems are formed because parents never followed through with things they asked their children to do. And as they got older the kids knew they could push the boundaries.

She said, "I wish parents could see how simple it really is to just do simple follow throughs when kids are young. Do what you say you're going to do and your children will respect you."

She thanked me for being an example of how easy it is to follow through and dashed off to another meeting.

I must say, she made my day. Being a Mom is not an easy job and there are plenty of things I wish I did better or paid more attention to. And sometimes, I don't have the patience to follow through.

But this conversation changed the way I looked at the kinds of "threats" I make. Now, I've tried to elevate myself to a better level of parenting and one of the things I do is make sure I follow through with everything I say I'm going to do.

I also am more cautious about the things I say. If I really am going to throw away all of those ^&^* toys that are dumped out and strung around my house 11 times a day, then I must throw them out. Otherwise, it's just an empty promise and Aiden knows I'll never actually do it.

Just for the record in the last month I have thrown away toys and fed Aiden babyfood for dinner. (You don't even want to know that story!)

So my thought for today: sometimes it's hard to just give in and not stick to our guns when it comes to following through with punishments. But if it means a better behaved child with fewer boundary challenges in the future, it's definitely worth the effort.

On another note - we loved Portland. What a great city!